Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
