Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This house was built for laser tag.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
