Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
