I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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