waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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