Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
