There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
