Umm I'm too high to move.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
