I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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