Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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