She is in my trunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
