Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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