I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
