Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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