Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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