I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
