i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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