Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
