Whatcha textin bout Willis?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
