This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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