Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
