So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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