i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
