I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
