How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
