it hurts more in the daytime
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
