I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
