no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
