can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
