At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
