i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
