My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
