my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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