PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
