i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
