I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize