I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
