I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
