My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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