3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
