Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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