addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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