I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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