I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
