U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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