Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
