I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
