i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
