Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
