I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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