Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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