You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
