I hate all girls vehemently.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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