so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize