got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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