Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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