Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
