it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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