just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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