Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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