I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
