that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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